[weight loss tw]
Any fatties wanna talk about fighting the desire to lose weight? It’s really hard to talk about but there’s so much about that experience that I’m craving (and literally all of it is external sources: people being nicer to me, being told that I look nice, etc.) and like, I don’t WANT to want it and I’m wondering if anyone else is going through something similar??
that whole thing infuriates me. how is wanting to die ‘interesting’? I would be so much more interesting if I consistently wanted to live, imagine what I could do with all that extra time and energy.
[TW brief mention of vomit self injury near the end]
Let me know if you want me to take this down but like, THIS.
You know what would be interesting?
If I didn’t have to hide in the bathroom until the crying and shaking stopped during work because I just can’t handle physically being there. If I didn’t feel the need to hide from my family and friends because they take it personally when I feel that way. If I actually had the drive and ability and motivation to DO GOOD THINGS IN THE WORLD. Those would be interesting!
Interesting would be if I had the capacity to work and save up money and travel and see things. Interesting would be if I could go to events and do fun things without getting overwhelmed and crying because I just can’t handle being there. Interesting would be being able to be that person who just genuinely enjoys life because it’s so interesting.
I mean yeah I guess mental illness is interesting in a “tragic backstory” kind of way but holy shit that is NOT the kind of interesting I want to be! I would so much rather be the “wow that person has such a wide variety of interests and hobbies how interesting” type, over the “wow I feel really sorry for everything that person is going through and I’m so happy I’m not them” type.
Like, I get it if you have to romanticize your own illness to cope with it, I guess. But that shit gets taken as Mental Illness Gospel by neurotypical folks and all of a sudden its “wow depressed people are so enlightened” and “omg you’re so quirky” and it’s like “haha yeah yeah I literally haven’t been able to go to class for two weeks because as soon as I start walking towards the door I feel like I’m going to throw up and my arms won’t stop shaking until I hit myself over and over and over again but yeah, sure, that’s hella interesting.”
how do you ask someone if they’d like to go on a date if you don’t know if they see you as a date-type person?
stumblingkayak: /post/79022428026 Can you explain why you hate that post? Just curious. I always like hear different thoughts on things.
I posted a little about this earlier but basically I have a lot of issues with his assertion that he’d be so boring without his suicidal tendencies / depression.
drizzleandhurricanes: wait is it cos he says that he'd be 'boring' without depression? that's pretty fucked up anyway. perpetuating the romanticism of depression and mental illnesses in general IS THE WORST
YES. This is what bothers me about it, I think. He comes across as romanticizing his own depression / suicidal tendencies, and it feels like something that someone else will look at and go “oh see look he doesn’t want to be better none of them want to be better blah blah.”
Plus I just generally don’t dig that guy because he did the big poem that caused everyone to demonize his ex girlfriend for leaving him.
Having a really hard time doing this paper (that literary analysis on Doctor Horrible) because of a lot of anxiety things so I’m just going to list them:
going through the Fat Acceptance tag always gives me a while bunch more blogs to follow, and at least twice as many to put on “ignore.”
reblog is you are part of the fat acceptance community
"You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens."